Making the transition from residential treatment to regular life is a tricky time for many people. After living in a safe, supportive environment for perhaps months, you have to go back to dealing with the stress and temptations of everyday life. Most people leave treatment feeling much better–healthier, happier, and more confident. However, making the skills you learned in treatment part of of your regular life takes practice and patience. Complicating this process further by trying to date too soon can jeopardize your recovery. Most counselors recommend waiting at least a year to start dating again. This may seem like a long time, but in the scheme of things, it’s really not. A year is the first major landmark in sobriety. Relapse rates fall considerably after a year. A year is typically enough time to find steady work and a place to live. If you’re part of a mutual support group like a 12-step program, SMART Recovery, or Refuge Recovery, a year is enough time to have connected with other sober people and become engaged in the group. A year gives you time to practice what you learned in treatment and become more comfortable with positive coping strategies. It’s enough time to sort out your priorities and become more independent. If you don’t give yourself a little time to work on recovery before you start dating, you may run into a number of problems. For example, many people who struggle with addiction have negative relationship patterns and they are especially prone to ending up in codependent relationships. If you allow yourself to get into a relationship too soon after treatment, you might fall back into old patterns. This is a real concern, as many people end up dating other people in recovery, whom they met in treatment or mutual aid meetings. While this may seem like a perfect arrangement, one person’s relapse may lead to the other person’s relapse too. On the other hand, if you start dating someone not in recovery, he or she may not understand your recovery needs. Some people find sober dating tricky. Finally, a relationship can add extra stress. There may be arguments, uncertainty, and compromises. Things may go well for a while, then fall apart. Breakups are incredibly stressful and a common relapse trigger. It’s better to be in a stronger place in your recovery so you can better withstand the trials common to relationships. Waiting a year is, of course, just a guideline. You may feel ready before then or you may need more time. It’s probably better to err on the side of caution. Someone who cares about you and your recovery will understand if you want to wait and take things slow. Whether or not you’re ready to start dating is a good issue to discuss with your therapist or group.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or mental illness, we can help. Recovery Ways is a premier drug and alcohol addiction treatment facility located in Salt Lake City, Utah. We have the resources to effectively treat a dual diagnosis. Our mission is to provide the most cost-effective, accessible substance abuse treatment to as many people as possible. Request information online or call us today at 1-888-986-7848.
