When we look back at our childhoods, many of us realize that our addictive patterns began when we were very young. The emotional responses, thought patterns and behaviors that are part of our addictions may have developed early on when were children. Sometimes we learn from our families and caregivers that it is better and easier to avoid our difficult emotions. We learn to suppress them and don’t learn healthy coping skills. We aren’t taught to process our emotions in productive and effective ways. Our inability to cope with our emotions is very often a precursor to our addictions. We might have learned that silence is the best way to handle inner turmoil and interpersonal conflict. As a result, many of us turn to external things to try and avoid feeling our pain. These things make us feel good in the moment, a drug or a drink or a relationship, but burying our pain only compounds it, and the longer we allow it to fester, the worse it becomes. You might have started exhibiting problematic behaviors early on as a child. Perhaps you were already experimenting with drugs or alcohol. Maybe you were engaging in self-destructive and risky behaviors such as casual sex or reckless driving. You might not have been conscious that you were using these unhealthy behaviors to avoid feeling your pain. You might have thought you were simply rebelling against authority or trying to fit in with the cool kids, but underneath there was probably a lot more going on. The traumatic experiences we sustain in childhood can be particularly difficult to process. Our minds are still developing. We’re still learning coping mechanisms. We’re still figuring out who we are. When we’re traumatized as children but don’t yet have the resources to understand and navigate our painful emotions, it can be really easy for us to start developing addictive patterns. The thought patterns that can contribute to addiction can also start in childhood. Very often our addictions are related to feelings of low self-esteem and lack of self-worth. We have deeply rooted fears of inadequacy and abandonment, particularly after experiencing trauma, and our fears can cause us to behave in self-destructive ways. We might have thought patterns of insecurity, self-hate and self-disparagement, all of which can cause us to turn to addictions to try to feel better about ourselves, to numb our pain and to escape our difficult emotions.
We offer family therapy and family workshops as part of our treatment programs. Call 1-888-986-7848 for more information.
